to love and be loved,
but somewhere we forgot the point and started messing
around with fools in king’s clothing, while the emperor
was left with nothing to wear
(i wish i had dignity like him to parade around at my emotional barest,
but i don’t. i don’t).
i want to save the lines,
but i don’t know if this ship
is going down.
these are reactions to the actions to the reactions to the actions.
it was the high and mighty that fell first, the quick knock knock knock
on the door of your subconscious.
we breathe in colors we’ve never seen, talked in words we’ve never heard.
when the floodgates broke, we cried out to gods that were never there.
“look how you made us! we were doomed from the start!”
always coming up with oblique excuses to matters of the heart.
greedy suction
sloppy tongue
eager noises.
half written shitty romance notes.
boys like you don’t need girls like me.
i watch dark shapes move beneath my skin.
i wonder if you feel this too.
st-st-stuttering half sentences into the edge of your hip
and wondering when this went so wrong.
i know the rules.
i know how to make them, to break them, to follow them.
i know the rules,
but i don’t know you.
it took time for me to shine,
but i figured it out, i figured it out.
my head doesn’t work like yours.
i think in stilted words and narratives
no one else understands.
i stopped sharing after a while.
there was no one willing to really listen.
